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Don’t Wait to Have a Family

July 18th 2014 1 comment so far  

file0001602209938Most singles want to get married and have children. We want that white-picket fence dream, surrounded by a loving spouse, happy children, and even the playful family dog. The older we get, the more friends we watch get married and have babies—and the more alone we begin to feel. That dream begins to become allusive, and we begin to feel like an island unto ourselves. We have no family of our own. And we are lonely.

But just because we have not physically produced a family does not mean we cannot have family. The fact is, you do have a family. You have your birth or adoptive family. You have friends and loved-ones who are as close as family. You have relationships that are just as important now as your future relationships with your spouse and children will be.

Instead of mourning the family you want but do not have, enjoy the family you do have. Strengthen the relationships around you. Do you have a parent still living? Work on bettering your relationship with them. Do you have a sibling? Cultivate that relationship. Do not take your family relationships for granted because you do not have a spouse. You will still need your family when you get married. Deepen your bonds with them now so you can be near to each other when needs arise.

Perhaps you do not have any family left living—or living close enough to see them often. Then develop the other relationships around you. Spend more time with friends. Get to know your coworkers. Invest in someone else’s life. Be family to someone who needs family.

I am not a wife or mother. But I am a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin, a friend, a coworker. I am not alone. I can pout and isolate myself because I don’t have a husband and children, or I can enjoy and deepen the many fulfilling relationships God has given me. We are each of us blessed with many relationships. Although the marriage relationship is second only to our relationship with God, it is not always the most influential, significant relationship in our lives. King David’s best relationship was with his friend, Jonathan. Esther’s greatest advisor was her uncle, Mordecai. Every relationship matters.

None of us is truly isolated or alone. If we are, then we have isolated ourselves. We need every relationship in our lives. Don’t wait to have family while you wait to start a family.

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    Kathy Goodwin July 21st at 10:47 am  

    Yay! This is a great blog! I have a long time friend, in her 40’s, who has done just what you have described but she still mourns the fact that she has never married and has no children or family of her own. She makes a good income, has a home and a stable job. She is a fine Christian and loves children. I have often wondered why she never adopted a child or had a child by artificial methods. There are choices like becoming a Big Brother or Sister to a child or youth and investing yourself in someone else’s life. Becoming a foster parent or volunteering in a children’s ministry or youth ministry is a great way to invest in other people.

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